2016 has been a year to remember for me. I experienced so much more than I planned and feel like I aged beyond my years. It’s hard to remember anything that happened before May 10th, although I’m sure some good things happened. But that day will forever be engraned in my memory as the day I found out that I had cancer. It’s literally the call that everyone fears their whole life, and no one really plans on getting. Most people don’t have to ever go through that and I hope they realize how blessed they are.
This year has really been centered on my cancer journey. And while cancer has taken many things from me, it’s also given me things..things that are good.
Cancer has taken my long brown hair, it’s taken my muscles I had been working hard on prior to chemo. It took my social life and my time with friends I had just made. Cancer took my ability to get out of bed and stand on the ground without feeling pins and needles in my feet. It’s taken away my worryfree daily life. It took away going through a day without feeling any pain or soreness in my body. It took away my energy. Biggest of all it’s taken away my ability to not think about getting cancer again and thinking that every little thing is a sign it’s back. It’s taken away the time when I didn’t count down the months till my next scan to see if it’s clear. Cancer has taken away my previous self and that’s something that I will never get to go back to. But I don’t hate it for that. Because it also gave me some really wonderful things…
Cancer gave me the ability to be strong, to test out strength I would have never found before. It gave me a faith like you wouldn’t believe and a reliance on God that brought me so much closer to Him. It gave me gratitude for my family and especially my mom who littlerally took care of me like a young child again. Even greater, he brought me a man who loves me to the core and stood by my side as I lost my old appearance and became fully vulnerable and physically weak . It didn’t shake him one bit as he asked me to finally be his girlfriend when I was completely bald. Cancer gave me the chance to become confident in myself as a person no matter how people looked at me. It gave me new relationships with other people who are on this journey with me and whom I have a special bond with forever.
One year ago today, I was in Savannah, GA about to celebrate New Years Eve with Gunnar having no idea what 2016 would bring. This year I am in the same exact place, looking toward to 2017 and praying that this next year will bring more..
More good than bad. More joy than pain. More health that sickness. More love than hurt. More togetherness than separation. More laughs than tears…And lots and lots of hair ☺️☺️
No matter what the future holds, I pray that God will bless the lives of myself and all the ones I love and that we will tackle this next year the same way we did this one.
Happy New Year!